...For better or for worse.

So let me begin by quoting a small segment out of my previous journal entry.

_{"Speaking of Naama, things have been going great between us so far. A few bumps here and there, but nothing serious or out of the ordinary. I've made lots of mistakes about judging people, mostly because I tried to ignore all the little hints suggesting that they're douche bags, but I believe that this time I'm right. She really is a great person, and not only on the outside, a quality that's hard to find these days. I guess I should just be grateful for her tolerance of my obnoxious behaviour and the recent, and probably future, lack of presence. Lets hope that I won't end up on the receiving end of a breakup... Again."}

And now to the point. It appears I was wrong yet again, hah. Just goes to show you my rotten luck with women. I still think she's a wonderful person and I guess I don't hold much of a grudge. I suppose it wasn't easy for her either to make the decision after 13 months. 13, interesting number, don't you think? But back to the issue at hand, you can describe my feeling with three simple words - what the fuck? Sure I've heard all the reasons, to me they don't make much sense and I just don't feel that they're enough ground to drop such a long and successful relationship, but shit happens right? It's been a few weeks and I've been feeling better, but still the feeling that it was a horrible mistake she made won't stop haunting my mind. And even worse, it makes me feel rather worthless that someone can give up on me like that. Sure, I admit, I'm not perfect, far from it even, but just from looking at humanity from my point of view finding someone as loyal and dedicated as me doesn't seem easy, at least not for me. But enough with the vanity, lets move on to brighter topics.

If there's anything I've realised in the past 8 months I've been in the army is that I underestimated myself too much. I got myself into one hell of a position by my own personal effort. The army offers a different frame compared to high school. Here who you were in those decisive, rather horrible, years doesn't matter, you are judged by your skills, both social and professional, unlike in school where popularity plays the biggest role and you can be a genius but still hate your life just because everyone else looks down on you for whatever reason. So I can definitely say that I'm pleased with where I've gotten myself into. Sure, I'm in the army until I'm 25 the least, but it appears that I've walked through the right door to pave me the way to a brighter future financially and socially and while I'm at it, the contribution from my side to the country itself is enormous and I think it is well worth the years. Unfortunately, I can't really give out any details about what I do or where I do it for national security reasons and all that nonsense, but lets say that I'm in IT and leave it at that. So no worries, I don't run around with a rifle and shoot stuff, the only danger I'm in is back aches from sitting too much in front of a monitor.

But to the more relevant issues. Art.
To sum it up, I pretty much haven't done squat since Here I Am. At least not something worth mentioning. But now that I'm in a bit more stable program with humane work hours and more time on the weekends I'm planning on picking it back up so hopefully I'll get some work done sooner or later. As far as music, I think I've gotten substantially better at playing the guitar in the past month. So perhaps that's another talent for the list, we'll see how it goes I suppose. So that's about it.

I wonder how many people are still here and watching me. If you've read this journal entry do leave a comment, I'd love to see who's still around and has interest in this dusty account of mine.

So yeah, I guess I've rambled enough for one entry. My conclusion? Lets see where this journey leads me